Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Qualifications for Anti-Gurus

Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Hello and welcome again!

Today we start with the qualifications of antigurus. It just seems that antigurus want to rape the freedom of speech of the beautiful country where they live in. It is just a total abusal.

For example take these blogs that say 'I just want to expose this Guru or that'. The first qualification of an antiguru is

He/She does not have any background in the Hindu Tradition.

I would think they are pedofiles dressed up Santa Clause!. This is the first qualification.

Lights ON. Camera ON. Take 1. Scene 1.

Lets see what I mean by it. mmm. These Guru molesters as anyone can guess have no knowledge of Vedas, Upanishads, traditional rituals, value for tradition etc. nor have they had the 'gnana' or knowledge to achieve liberation. If we were to ask this question to one of these clowns:

Q: 'Have you been formally trained in the Hindu system for 12 years undergoing rigorous training? Have you learnt all the Vedas, Puranas, Upanishads etc. to the place where you can answer any question about Jiva, jagat and ihswara? Can you recite the Vedas in the traditional way?'.

Antiguru (in their mind thinking 'Oh F*** NO!'): 'Yes. I studied so long for 4 and half months in India. I know all about the mind. I know myself. And. And. (antiguru shakes vigorously) I know the world is filled with bad people who try to separate me from having relationship with my friend's underage daughter. i mean...what did I say? yeah..the world is filled bad gurus'

Q: Okie. Have you Anti-Guru been able to follow the rituals - atleast one like chanting a mantra for 'Akshara-Laksha' (repeating a mantra for 100,000 x number of letters in a mantra) and attained the complete state of any God? after being formally initiated?

Antiguru (looks like about to puke!. probably just drunk a lot and had eaten lots of rotten beef uncontrolably): I once sat beside my Guru during one of those rituals. My Guru looked like he did not do it correctly (The girl next to me looked very sexy.). If I were to do it, I will do it with all sincerity.

Q: Are you sure your Guru didn't do it correctly?

Antiguru: Yeah. i was there.

Q: Okie. Have you Anti-Guru tried some practise of meditation and fasting etc. for like 20 to 30 years with all sincerity?

Antiguru (looks like peeing in his pants): Oh yeah fasting. Sure. I have done all that (thinks..McDonalds or Burger King isn't counted. Its outside my building. I fasted inside my building).
I meditated a lot. yeah. i meditated a lot..many times a day. (thinks...sure i did meditate on my friend's wife!). I had all experiences.

Q: Sure. We totally understand your point.

Antiguru continues with eyes moving rapidly: errr. I even had experiences. yeah. real ones. Its only because of these Gurus that all the bad is happening.

Q: We understand your point. Sure. Now tell us what do you know about Hindu Gods?

Anti-Guru: All Gods are in my heart. I pray to them all. I think sacrifice to the village gods (known as grama devatas) is just old fashion. But I like and I will give my whole life for the benefit of Humanity and Hindu tradition.

Q: Thank you so much for your time. We hope to meet you soon.

Anti-Guru lost in a slur of words against Gurus when alone. suddenly realizes the camera in front of him and starts smiling and waving.

Cameras Off. Behind the screen.

Anti-Guru tries to hook up with one of the camera girls by sharing some booz that he picks from his jacket. Camera Girl kicks him...you know where. :)


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